Jeff Zeleny should be nominated for a Pulitzer. His question to Obama at the Wednesday night (4/29/09) press conference was priceless:
During these first 100 days, what has surprised you the most about this office, enchanted you the most about serving this in office, humbled you the most and troubled you the most?
Obama’s answer was in common fashion and quite predictable. The words that came out of his mouth notwithstanding, here’s what he really meant to say…
Surprised? Well, I am surprised at the ease with which you can fool the American people. It is so easy to say one thing and do the complete opposite. Not a day goes by that I am not utterly surprised that half the people of this country continue to believe that I am going to reign in out of control spending, cut taxes and protect them from foreign enemies. I mean, really…how gullible! Just the other day I was asked about how I can justify racking up more and more debt with my programs and policies. I looked the interviewer right in the face and told them that by reducing the cost of health care and reigning in government spending we will balance the budget and continue to grow. Unbelievable! I just spent Trillions more than we have and the guy doesn’t even question me when I say I’m going to reign in spending. Now that’s surprising!
Enchanted? Hmmm, let me see… Well I was first enchanted by Reverend Wright some 20 years ago. His anti-American sermons and black separatist rantings not just enchanted me, but brought him so close to me he became like a trusted uncle. After that I really became enchanted by Saul Alinsky. His vision for how to capture and keep power is like magic! Taken together, and along with some added fairy dust sprinkled on by Bill Ayers, Bernardine Dohrn, Tony Rezko and others, I now walk through life as enchanted as one can be. I am enchanted by the spell and allure of power and the Utopian vision of my aforementioned mentors and political partners.
Humbled? Well, that’s kind of a silly question isn’t it? I mean, really. Listen, the only thing that can really humble me is is the power of persuasion itself. And hey, even that is absurd since I have more ethos, pathos and logos than Socrates himself. Humbled? Yeah, right.
Troubled? It is troubling to me how hard it is to convince Congress to vote me the power to rule by decree. I met with Nancy the other day and she said that it was a non-starter until Harry can convince Olympia, Susan and Chuck to jump the Republican ship. Did I mention that the US is a ship? Well, I digress. Hugo and I had drinks a few weeks ago and he told me that you really haven’t been a leader until you can rule by decree. It troubles me to no end that I have to wait until I get more defections to get it!
Ladies and gentlemen of the Press Corps and fellow countrymen, thank you for endulging my real answer to this question. Thank you and God bless. Wait, scratch that. Just, thank you.