I’ve been wanting to tell you exactly what I think of you for more than a year now, and the article Newsmax recently emailed me, “Karl Rove: Congressional Acrimony Irritates Americans,” has provided me the perfect opportunity to do so. (Kudos to Newsmax!)
“Congressional Acrimony” cited at least four completely erroneous statements you made, which confirm that you are precisely what I’ve long considered you to be: a weak-kneed, supercilious, elitist, RINO snob. Not only do you underestimate the number of principled conservatives (like me) within the Republican Party, you underestimate the number of us within society as a whole. Further, you underestimate our ability to cut through all your posturing and calculating, and see precisely what you’re up to. You can’t imagine how stunned we were to realize, about three years ago, that you’ll encourage us to vote for whatever republican you think has the best chance of winning – regardless of how LIBERAL that republican might be – rather than urging us to vote for the republican who most closely reflects our beliefs, values, and convictions. What WON’T you sacrifice, Karl, simply to ensure victory for our lily-livered, double-dealing RNC? (That was a purely rhetorical question. I already know the answer.)
That being said, I hereby respond to each of your statements on behalf of my fellow conservatives, far and wide.
Statement one: “The American people are tired of “ineffectual leadership.” True, we ARE tired of “ineffectual leadership.” Tired of the ineffectual leadership of those who are supposed to be leading our party to REDUCE the size and sway of government, not INCREASE it. Namely, we’re tired of John Boehner and Mitch McConnell. Yes, we’re tired of being played by both of them. We’re tired of watching John swagger around in front of the camera, like a rather-refined version of Attila the Hun, only to crumble into a gutless pile of “I did the best I could,” at the very last minute. And we’re tired of watching Mitch do the same, albeit without all the bluster. (Note to John: you’d be better off folding from the get-go, rather than trying to look as if you’re holding out, standing firm, and THEN folding. The former would reveal only that you are stupid; the latter keeps revealing you’re deceitful as well as stupid.)
How I wish we conservatives had elected a greater number of “Tea Partiers” last November. They, alone, represent our values and principles. They, alone, abhor what we abhor, i.e., liberal legislators (ass OR elephant) squandering nearly everything we bust our butts for; gleefully obliterating the job market; and hijacking the liberties our Creator bestowed upon us the moment He spoke us into being.
Incidentally, if I hear one more democrat on TV arguing that the aforementioned Tea Partiers have “taken control of Congress,” I think I’ll hurl myself over the nearest cliff. (Just thought I’d throw a dash of hyperbole in the mix.) Note to Tea Party “scaredy cats”: THE TEA PARTIERS DON’T CONTROL ANYTHING. THAT’S EXACTLY WHY WE’RE ALL IN THE HORRIFIC MESS WE’RE IN.
Statement two: “The American people are fed up with congressional infighting and the rancor that led up to the debt deal.” “Infighting,” Karl? “Rancor?” Really? You must mean the relentless “infighting” in Congress instigated by the democrats, and the “rancor” they ruthlessly express toward Republicans. We all know, our beloved RINOs are far too busy compromising and putting politics aside and rolling over to FIGHT for anything, let alone express the slightest bit of rancor toward those who truly deserve it. In other words, Karl, what we’re REALLY “fed up with,” is the mealy-mouthed milksops on our side of the aisle continuously indulging the despot wannabes on the other side of the aisle.
Statement three: “Congress is . . . the victim of the absence of presidential leadership.” Nice try, Karl. But you’re not fooling any of us. The only absence Congress is a victim of is the absence of enough of those (terrorist) Tea Partiers standing between us and the wholesale destruction of our incomparable, liberty-begotten, capitalist way of life.
And how can you insinuate that our beloved Messiah hasn’t provided us any type of leadership? Why, I think he’s provided us extraordinarily-incredible, stupendously-astounding, astonishingly awe-inspiring leadership. Look how much closer he’s LED us to Tyranny’s iniquitous embrace – in far less than one term – than any of his predecessors led us in one, or two, full terms. By golly, Karl, he couldn’t have done it without you! Take pride in what you’ve helped him accomplish! And, by all means, keep scattering those rose petals before his Majesty’s tootsies until he declares every one of us full-fledged wards of the state. We’ll be standing in soup lines faster than he can skip town for another of his multimillion-dollar vacays! Bless your conciliatory, little hearts, RINOs!
Statement three: “What matters is not the Republicans in Congress versus President Obama–it’s President Obama versus a single Republican.” No, Karl, what matters is getting rid of RINOs like you and replacing them with genuine, tough-as-titanium conservatives, who will faithfully expose Obama and his disciples each and every time they LIE about us and insidiously undermine our efforts to encourage UNLIMITED private-sector job growth, demolish the IRS, and reclaim the freedoms we began losing when Franklin “Redistribute-the-Wealth” Roosevelt instituted our now-gargantuan welfare state.
In closing, Karl, feel free to give your cocky accomplices in Washington the following heads up: election time can’t come quickly enough for those of us who’ve vowed to campaign their egotistical bums right back to where they came from. And while it pains us to think of y’all continuing to live like Kings and Queens,* off the bountiful fruits of OUR labor,** we’ll take comfort in the fact that we no longer have to feel ashamed to call ourselves Republicans. Indeed, our newly-elected (utterly-diabolical) Tea Partiers will see to that.
*Olympia Snowe, Susan Collins, Lisa Murkowski, Mary Bono Mack, et al.
**(via the exorbitant, tax-payer-funded pensions you’ve lavished upon yourselves)