Obamacare Ruling Fosters New Legislative Action

Obamacare In a stunning move widely considered as “spiking the football” President Obama and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid have proposed new legislation in the wake of the Supreme Court Decision yesterday.

The Child Obesity Prevention and Protection Act, S.1848 would curb childhood obesity by establishing health guidelines for parents.

If the law passes, doctors will be required by Health and Human Services (HHS) to report the Body Mass Index (BMI) of every child in their care. Any child with a BMI over the limit established by HHS will fall into the protection of the program.

Once a child is determined by the HHS panel to have an unacceptable BMI, the parent(s) will be required to buy the minimum required servings of fruits and vegetables for the child. If the proper quantity and type of foods are not purchased, the parent or legal guardian will be taxed $300 per month, with a progressively increasing scale as long as the problem persists. In the event of non-compliance, the parent will face additional fines and potential jail time under IRS Code 1917.

Daniel De Leon, Director of HHS Child Wellness Programs said, “The government has the primary responsibility for the health of our children. Parents are all too often in the way of raising a child properly.”

In an early morning Rose Garden press conference, President Obama was joined by De Leon, and the President agreed, “In the wake of this historic Supreme Court decision, it is time for the nation’s children to come under the care of the bureaucracy that can make the best decisions for them. Now is not the time for party politics, it is the time to save our children.”

Kathleen Sebelius was attending a late-term abortion rally and unavailable for comment, but her office issued this statement:

“We believe that HHS and the Executive Branch have the primary responsibility in raising our nation’s children. We hope in the coming months to extend the regulations to all citizens, including those who have normal BMI’s so that we can fight disease and other health problems. By strictly regulating what people eat and how much they eat, and with the incentive provided by excessive taxation and jail time, we can lead the world in terms of a healthy populace. Furthermore, by mandating certain foods be purchased, we can make critical investments in green farming techniques, essential to our economic recovery.”

The Bill will be fast-tracked through the Senate and sent to the House, where it is expected to meet resistance.

Jim Madison, Chairman of the House Committee on Constitutional Issues, was not available for comment.

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Comments

  1. “Once a child is determined by the HHS panel to have an unacceptable BMI, the parent(s) will be required to buy the minimum required servings of fruits and vegetables for the child. If the proper quantity and type of foods are not purchased, the parent or legal guardian will be taxed $300 per month,”

    Do you make this up?

  2. Hi Picaro – If you read carefully, you’ll find your answer. 🙂

  3. “Rush said it best when he said, “Words mean things.” We agree. We say what we mean and we mean what we say. “

  4. Come on now….

    The best satire is that which could be real. Art imitating reality… I’m sorry it was difficult for you to figure it out, Picaro….

  5. “If the law passes, doctors will be required by Health and Human Services (HHS) to report the Body Mass Index (BMI) of every child in their care.” How about the laws that require ultrasounds for abortion patients how’s that any different.

  6. Hi Vlad – The post is satire…I guess this was lost on you.

  7. I think the first clue was Daniel De Leon. Good satire, Harry. It is unfortunate that this could be all too true, if the liberals have their way.

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