President Obama Blames Hurricane on Romney

At a campaign stop in Ohio today, Barack Obama blamed Hurricane Sandy on Mitt Romney and the Republicans in Congress.  The President’s spokesman clarified the sentiment by explaining how Obama can change the weather in a second term, and that Romney should take responsibility for any injuries that may be caused from the massive storm.

“When I took office, it was the moment the rise of the oceans began to fall, and the earth began to heal.  But policies pursued by Mitt Romney and his Republican cohorts in Congress have stymied our path to a peaceful planet.  Hurricane Sandy is a direct result of my opponent’s failure to act on an issue of vital importance,” President Obama said to a fawning crowd of 37 supporters.

He continued, “All we asked is that the fat cats on Wall Street pay a little more because we need their down payment for policies that will change the weather and prevent disasters like Hurricane Sandy.  In my second term, we will change the weather for good.  Fall is my favorite season, if we invest tax dollars properly, maybe we’ll have more of that.”

Jay Korney, the Whitehouse Spokesman, held a conference call at 2:00 EST and was challenged by Pat Henry from Fox News.  Henry asked, “Isn’t it a stretch to blame a hurricane on Mitt Romney?”  With his usual wit and charm, Korney replied, “Mitt Romney has been a champion for policies that have a direct impact on ocean levels.  All the scientists we have talked to from the Environmental League of Weather Changers (ELWC) agree that the increased CO2 levels increase the frequency and intensity of these storms.”  Then, to a stunned press pool he added, “We think that if we can confiscate more tax dollars, we can change the weather.  If anyone is injured or killed, Mitt Romney will have blood on his hands.”

Shortly after the conference call ended, Debbie Wasserman-Shultz commented, “Romney and his brain trust of extremists have long been plotting to tear down entire cities, in order to provide investment fodder for Bain Capital.”  When pressed for more, Wasserman-Shultz said that Bibi Netanyahu had provided intelligence proving that Romney had his sites on a Bain Capital takeover of lower Manhattan.  Netanyahu denies he has ever spoken with Wasserman-Shultz.

The story is still developing.  Bill O’Reilly aired a Talking Points Memo that highlighted what is now being called “Sandygate” by some in the media.  O’Reilly even sent his crack producer, Jessie Waters, out to do man-on-the-street interviews.  One Obama supporter, said, “When I first voted for Barack Obama, I knew I would no longer have to worry about my mortgage, or making my car payment.  I just don’t understand why he didn’t lower the oceans more.”  he went on to say that he held Romney personally responsible for the storm.  Teary eyed he said, “Romney did this!  All he cares about is money!”

Michelle Obama, an outspoken environmentalist, is unavailable for comment as she left Washington early this morning with 44 of her closest friends for a two week getaway in Tahiti.

Editors note:  For you leftist readers…satire stings most when it’s based on truth.  You fools who commented all the crap about libel need to 1) get a life and 2) look inward – maybe there are some things about your political positions that need changing.

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Comments

  1. This woman is an idiot.

  2. Is this insane or not. Obama must be really terrified of Romney if he gives him such godlike powers. Either that, or some have elected the stupidist most lame president of all time! Carney, another lap-dog is even dumber! How can any sane person say these things? Everyone connect with obamination, must have intelligence levels so low that there is no scale to measure them. As to Wasserman-Schultz we already know she is a schill for extremist within the party, but here she out does even her worst statements to date. obama must be voted out next week or the USA will exist no more!

  3. @am – I know…Peggy Joseph is one of our most favorite people to mock. I mean…good Lord.

    @jdh – There is a good bit of the post above that is…well, satire. Which proves the point… I can’t make up stuff that people don’t believe. How sad a commentary is it when trying to write satire that is so outrageous, but the target is such a terrible demagogue the satire is completely believable?

    Thanks a million for reading! Hope to see more of you around!

  4. Knowingly attempting to defame someone in writing is libel. G Harry Brooks the conservative owner of the apparently extremist right wing blog ToBeRight.com is committing libel against the President of the United States of America – Whether you support Obama or not, it is the office that he holds that Brooks is ultimately defaming and that could be seditious, racist and or treasonous in nature and every man, woman and child should be incensed at this. Mr Brooks appears to be another Romney supporting prevaricator committing libel by attempting to vilify President Obama by attributing statements to him that were never made. Mr Brooks can’t cite a source for article he wrote and can’t provide independent verifications of the alleged statements he attributes to Obama and his spokesperson that responsible journalism stands on. He uses the internet with impunity to spread his malicious vitriol.
    Obama has done nothing to warrant this behavior and Romney, if he was really upstanding and responsible, would immediately correct the record that Mr Brooks and others of the far right republican bent have been spreading in the last four years.?

  5. Knowingly being an idiot is…well, just sad.

  6. Let’s make something clear:
    Mitt Romney is no more responsible for Hurricane Sandy than is the sitting President. They are, above all real or imagined, people. Human beings. They are born, they eat, they crap, and eventually, they die, as we all do.
    Insisting that Obama is the antichrist, wielding him godlike powers of invocation to control weather, and putting extra meaning to, or words themselves into the POTUS’s mouth would be funny if it weren’t so dangerous. Dangerous, how?
    Implying that the President suggests that Sandy is his opponent’s fault is lame. False.
    If Romney were being accused of this, I’d stick up for him, too. I don’t even fancy Romney. But I’d like to think I’m fair.
    Romney wanted very much (still does, doesn’t he?) wants to revamp FEMA, which, done under his tentative plans, would be catastrophically catastrophic in the event of a natural catastrophe, and let’s just agree that it was a good thing the guy in the big seat during Sandy 2012, was Obama, and not Romney.
    Now, Mr. Romney, in his defense, simply has no idea about what consequences are, and how they really affect others. He’s lived in a bubble, and still does. Visiting a war zone, a natural disaster site, and going on a pilgrimage/mission, are thoughtful things to do. But until one has actually experienced anything catastrophic themselves, or has had experience, personal experience…hands-on type, one can only claim to know ABOUT something.

    It is like some writers. They wish to write. It is their passion. And to prove it, they will write anything. Fiction as Fact, and insist that facts are fiction. And for some editors whose volatile retorts predicating anyone’s actual posting to this (article? Piece? Journalistic simile?), the fact that one needs post-predicate response to a particular group (leftists) for what is written, is indicative of singular, selfish agenda: self promotion under guise of journalistic edification.

    Pretending to write a piece of news to edify and share facts, all the while devising to p. o. those whom you venomously disagree, is childish and transparent.

    Grow up.

    RS

  7. Rich – Do you actually think that anything in the above post is true? If so, you need to work on your comprehension…maybe take a class or two at the local community college, or something. (Incidentally, a “post” is what you call an article written for a blog, FYI.)

    It would appear that you either lack the sophistication to identify obvious satire, or you have such ideological blinders on that you only see what you want to see.

    I would suggest that before telling me to grow up, you should look in the mirror.

  8. Finding mirror…taking a peek…frightened silly…

    Just kidding.

    :)

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